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[Sep. 21st, 2006|03:20 am] |
well now i guess the question is..how do humans ATTRACT?
what is it that makes u choose and breed with a mate?
ok definitely the sexual aspect to it.
man has always known that we choose a mate with the body proportions that satisfy the golden ratio PHI (=1.61803399). the 'heavenly' geometry that governs attractiveness. and we have always known that, it's this geometry which sends off that subconscious signal to a potential mate that 'i am fertile and ready to procreate' or 'f*ck me!'.
ok so besides this downright physical aspect to it, how abt emotionally? how do we choose someone who satisfies our criterion of being a 'great husband/wife' as opposed to being a 'great shag'? more importantly, do we know we cannot have both and how do as ascertain we are not blinded by the latter in choosing the former?
an example would be the entertainment industry. by association, very seductive and sensual in nature. is that why hollywood marriages don't last? do those tangible assets of the very sexy jessica simpson cloud the intangible assets of strong brilliant albeit less attractive women such as, reese witherspoon and pink? another question..why is britney more tabloid material then christina? the former got thrown from grace and the latter is back stronger than ever. so why, in all respect, is britney still more popular than christina?
so as my argument should go, our primal instincts tell us that it's the physical that governs mating. how many times has a younger, taller, slimmer version of you received the attention and admiration you feel you should be getting? how many times have you wondered 'why do i bother being caring and intelligent, if in the end, my genes are not chosen in the ultimate survival that is breeding?'?
i am blessed to be with someone who sees me beyond what i present to the world (which is indeed subjective and temperamental). who does not always think i'm oh-so-sexy but rather still wants to love me for my soul and wants to make love to me for all my wobbly and insufficient bits. and i am blessed with friends who stick by me through thick and thin, not because i am a pretty young thing, but rather because i am a maturing level-headed girl-woman. and i am blessed with a heart and mind that leads me in the right direction.
so in the end, how DO humans attract?
this is for all the days we feel insignificant and unattractive. this is for us who believe we are people of substance. this is for us who are people with something worth saying, something worth fighting for.
and this is not for the days we feel sexy and gorgeous. since on those days, we ride high for it's evident the physical outperforms the emotional.
this is for our future where we lose our good looks and un-sagging bodies. where time ravages our complexions and peels away our hair. where we are stripped bare at the end of time, and our creator looks at us, into our soul and says 'i have made you to be beautiful and that's what you are'.
and in response to 'keep our friends near and our enemies closer' where by keeping our enemies near we are actually monitoring them and restricting them, gaining their trust and therefore holding them down, hoping that if they fly to greater heights, they'll carry us along. think about this..
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
by Marianne Williamson
so LIVE. LOVE. WONDER. LEARN. REBEL. ATTEMPT. be BEAUTIFUL. be REAL.
and shower your love whereever you go. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|05:44 pm] |
I'm glad. I'm at peace.
The time to leave is coming and i'm just going to let it slide. No more resisting and lying to myself..I don't really belong here and i never shall. But it's all good.
I'm so glad. My friends blogs..one by one..are dedicating themselves to God.
Even though i'm not that staunch to do that, I appreciate it. Those are places i remember myself, my friends, our love. Never changing, always there.
One by one, people enter your life. You feel differently for each of them. That's what makes each and everyone special.
You never know when you'll see them again, but you hope it'll be soon.
You want to cry for every memory because it's so so sweet. Your heart aches everytime you see them because they feel so so good.
I'm glad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|09:12 pm] |
another 5 minutes. i don't know why i just cant get it right! and already i've forgotten my password. :(
i think we need to reexamine ourselves. our confidence. our esteem issues.
who do we turn to when we need a pick-me-up? why do we need someone to tell us we look fine, why do we need someone to tell us what to do, where to go? and do we even realise we're putting a poor soul through all that?
it's unfair to both when a friendship/relationship turns to that. there's only so much patience and love we have to give. and it would be unconditional if not for the fact that an unconditional amount is detrimental your friend's character/social growth.
we give in, we assure because we love. we also stop giving in and stop reassuring because we love. because if we give in to you, it's bad for you. you have to tackle it yourself.
and the question is where do we draw the line? the area we thread in is white in the night, and black the next morning.
how am i going to have children i ask myself? how will i know how much i should be doing for them? i already baby the people in my life too much. i can't imagine what i'll do for my own blood.
sometimes, it's true, london's made me cynical. it's open my eyes in a way i can't describe. the pretty veil has been lifted and i see the world more for itself now. more magnificent and omnipotent is some ways, more disgusting and overpowering in others.
the desire for change, the yearning for a better world almost hurts. i know the change begins with me and i should rethink my way of life first and foremost before i criticise yada yada yada. but i can't seem to. past ignorance was bliss.
i've tried to accept it. i've tried to fall back into a way of life so comfortable so satisfied. but with the coming of london, her buzz her trance, she reminds me of the confidence she gave me.
when i'm in london, i love singapore. when i'm in singapore, i love singapore. but i feel that something's missing. london's my temptation, she's my mistress - exciting; beautiful; unforgiving. singapore's my wife - accepting; faithful; limited.
i maintain. if u care you'd ask, therefore, you don't. because the world is about u. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|10:26 am] |
I have to spend at least 5 minutes everytime trial and erroring my password before I get to make a post.. >|
Well since everyone's blogging about life, I'd like to contribute my bit on the pros of smoking. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a smoker. But I do think the occasional puff brings one to high heavens and beyond.
I think smoking to me, is like emotional feeding. You smoke when you're really happy and also when you're really sad.
When you're really happy, the smoke drawn preserves the moment in its full-fledged glory. Stopping time, savouring the essence of being..You do it with the people you love and it holds the world for you. It's ironic I know cuz the very thing you think is suspending time is actually killing you slowly. But what a way to die...
When you're sad, a puff transports you back to the place where you were happy. It reminds you of the companionship, the summer, the love..The memories lift you up like no other thing can.
That's why I'm pro-tattoo and piercings. The pain associated is critical. Each jab and probe etches into your body a milestone, a realisation, a benchmark. That's also why I love my third ear hole cuz til this day it's still more sensitive than my other piercings. Just touching it sometimes reminds me that I'm alive. My tattoo reminds me of my life..
Ok this is not meant to be a weird blog that promotes bod-mod or curing-by-modification. I'm just exploring why people do things the way they do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|08:16 pm] |
There is this command in the software i'm using..it's called 'suppress'. Where if you activate it, it basically suppresses any actions and simulations that you don't want to occur.
How i fucking wish i could suppress all of you.
Could just be me huh?
Well you'll never know. |
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| Pain |
[Aug. 5th, 2006|08:11 pm] |
I thought things would never change.
It's disappointing that i have to rely on people i don't care much for, to be there for me.
I've wanted to say it many times. That if you cared, you would ask.
I know your lives are busy. Can we not just come together for one? Why is it so difficult.
London seems awfully delicious right now. And that hurts from the pits of my stomach.
I wish you all all the best. |
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| Stay hungry. Stay foolish. |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|10:05 pm] |
Judging from my track record, this probably won't last long. But i thought, what the heck. I might as well give it a try again. You know what they say, if at first you don't succeed..
A big thanks to those who've tirelessly tried to keep up with my flailing efforts of previous (unsuccessful) blogs..Once more I'll dip my feet into these uncertain waters. And if a crocodile snips it off..I'll just fall over..exposing my ass. Yums.
I hope this gives an insight into an engineer's mind. You see, everything is pretty much compartmentalised and logical. Albeit flimsy sometimes. But hey i'm not complaining.
I find the hardest thing in life, for me, is to give yourself to someone superficially. It's easy to open up all the way, it's also easy to remain completely and utterly detached. But to give yourself, yet not give yourself. Ah herein lies the challenge..
And this is my aim for the next academic year. I need to expand my horizons (without expanding my waistline..which sometimes you can't accomplish one without the other..) and see what life holds in store. Yet without really putting my heart on the line.
Is it possible? To live without love?
That's kinda a mental block for me at this stage. But i'm sure we find examples in our everyday life of people living without realising what life's about.
It must seem strange. Cuz of course everyone wants to get to the meaning of life. But for those of us who've reached the end of our logical train of thought, trying to answer the question of "What's life all about?", the world is actually a much sadder superficial place. So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
So i'm saying that maybe the answer to a happy life, is in fact pursuing superficial friendships. And from this i mean friendships sans deep intellectual talk and soul searching. Cuz maybe, afterall, the latter are individual activities which need to be investigated on personal turfs..
Can i really have friends without talking, and i mean really talking, to them? Isn't smiling and nodding without meaning it..tiring? One only has that much energy to give. Maybe we don't need to put on a smile all the time? In this world, sometimes, giving away your true feelings is the biggest sin you can commit.
And now i end off with how Steve Jobs ended his commencement address. Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Cuz sometimes, that's the only thing the protects you at your lowest of times. |
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